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WRITING THE FIRST ONLINE DATING MESSAGE

Online dating is easy once you know the rules. It can be intimidating to writing a message to a perfect stranger in the hope of finding a love interest online, but all you need is practice and a little finesse. Below are 6 pros and cons of crafting a compelling introductory message. This is your first impression and it is important that you get it right.

  1. Be specific and personalize your message

When you contact a matched person, you need to show them that you’ve actually read their profile by personalizing your message. Being generic won’t get you many points or answers. By simply paying attention to details, you can make insightful comments that will flatter and impress the reader. Talk about what caught your eye, picking out a common interest or a writing funny comment. While you’re at it, aim your compliments at personality traits and not appearances. Superficial advances from strangers on the web are not attractive.

  1. Stand out and be funny or genuine

Instead of offering a line about how cute or sexy someone is, say something more memorable. Pickup lines are overused and won’t tell your partners anything of substance about you as a person. If you’re funny, be funny. If you are genuine, be genuine. This is your chance to stand out from the crowd by expressing yourself the way only you can. Let the person of interest know that you are someone special and worth getting to know. flirtwith.com

  1. Ask a question or two

Asking a question is the best way to get someone to answer you. No matter how polite and charming you are, if you don’t give the person something to say, they will probably go silent for all their efforts. So ask about a favorite hobby, a career mentioned, if they really like beer or something. Just get the ball rolling. You should keep it somewhat concrete and relevant to the profile, avoiding “how are you?” like the plague. To start the conversation off right, you don’t need more than a couple of interesting and insightful questions in your message. No one wants to be questioned about their inbox.

WRITING THE FIRST ONLINE DATING MESSAGE

  1. Don’t use bad grammar or spelling

It is careless to send a message with blatant spelling or grammatical errors. We live in a world with a spell checker! Not correcting a mistake sends the message that you don’t care what you are saying or how you say it. Informal language is fine; bad spelling is not. Even something as simple as changing “ur” to “you” elevates the writing message, showing that you are someone to take seriously. Save the jargon for when you are more familiar with the person. For the first message, keep it crisp, clean, and correct.

  1. Don’t talk too much

Your message shouldn’t be a long tirade about your career, your interests, and your hopes for romance; it must be about the person he is contacting. Be brief. This is a case where less is more (but definitely say more than just “Hello”). Your message should be no more than 200 characters, which is approximately 1 minute of typing. You are sending a friendly invitation to get to know each other, not a lengthy character assessment. When it comes to online dating, concise is the new sexy.

  1. Be no one but yourself

When you’re online, it can be tempting to go overboard, put on a mask, and present yourself as someone other than yourself. However, this is not only false, it is a bad dating strategy. Being genuine is much better than looking perfect. When composing your message, give an accurate representation of yourself (good, bad, and ugly) to elicit a positive response. A little self-awareness shows that you are the real honest one among a crowd of swindlers and fraudsters. Just remember, it takes confidence to be able to admit fault. flirtwith

For a potential partner, your personality is the main attraction in any message. Writing a good one isn’t just about substituting “cool” for “cool,” it’s about making a connection using what you know about them and what you know about yourself. When you build common ground, the conversation flows naturally and a date is inevitable. The next time you go online looking for love, do your best with a thoughtful, genuine, and brief message that essentially shows who you are

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